Tuesday, August 2, 2011

12:46 a.m. 8/2/11

Broken-toothed alley cats cross the backstreets
and loneliness creeps up my spine
worming a hole inside my shell.
The verge of tears teeters an inch away
while a calmness I hide hushes me, settles, stills, and quiets
me to an okay range while
I play, lost and faded like a wallflower in street lights.
Disoriented. In a bright supermarket with endless fluorescent lights flooding infinite aisles,
like a child,
trying on a coat of old age
she can't change out of
and my mind jumps a mountain range
and I feel like I'm running, traveling indeterminate lengths in place
my bike a hamster wheel
the world is my cage.
I belong no where,
but under the sky
and it opens its' arms wide,
but my fingers can't clasp it
and I can't hold its' hand
no matter how hard we each try.
So we sway alone to the moon's miles-away tides.
The stars call my name
and graffiti holds it in place.
A purring, aching desire twists, never graces my lips
wanting someone to remember
that we're one in the same,
but I can't recall anyone whose blood crackles alike through their veins.
My brother is gone, with bags of abandoned, half-eaten Frosted Flakes in his wake.
My sister never knew anything of anyone beyond herself and her own selfish ways.
My mother, which one? Each leaving, uncaring, or seen only with a scowl on her face.
My father a slave to his own weakness, kids he stranded, and life he can't escape.
I give into the night,
in a fatigued wave-without a heart in its' crest.
Butterfly dreams flit through this hundred watt lit chest.
Highways run adjacent to one another like alien road strips
and ethereal headlights are celestial galaxies
with an intangible transcendence
that remains attainable only through 'star-gazing', daydreaming, or
wishful thought someone forgot.
Bike tires sinking, spinning, the sky caves,
I open my eyes, and float away.

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