a personal meditation: greater agency

Most easily, reflection gives rise to a new idea or a modification of an abstract concept for me. This is called abstract conceptualization; analysis that develops unique approaches to problems.

Reflective observation of anew experience, and any inconsistencies between experience and understanding drive me to learn. I then apply them to the world around me to see what results. Experimenting with new ideas to simulate objectives and working with practical applications is fun.

Pope JohnXXIII's daily decalogue for ten simple rules of living is the theme. His message rings true today, extraordinarily. Convening an ecumenical council of ecclesiastical dignitaries and theological experts convoked by the whole world for the approbation of the church isn't my thing. But it is a frame work for accountability and mindfulness to form more ardent bonds with others. His decalogue is ingeniously relatable. But it is a system of humility--an uncommon trait--that is rich in personal meaning. "Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life. " Life is a frail drama we can superbly act.

1. Some moment, I will try not to injure another's feelings. Without making cutting or derisive remarks, I will take time for emotional respite.
2. I will strive to use judgment against my internal intuitions and ideas some moment, instead of in order to disregard other people's ideas.
3. Some moment, I must remember strengths in others will differ from my own; even when impatient, I want to act with prudence by calmly seeking in others the competence and capacity for understanding that each person has to offer.
4. I will let inefficiencies and confusion slide some moment: I can then engage in positive attitudes in which to interact with myself and others.
5. I will determine a successful plan of action by discriminating accurately against my intuitions to better build ingenious systems to meet identified marks. Some moment, I must consider the impact of executing them with industry.
6. Some  moment, I will not allow troubling thoughts to enter my sacred inner space.
7. Some moment, when experiencing turmoil, I will not form unreasonable expectations of others: I will not try to improve anyone but myself; I will handle disagreements and disappointments in a non-passionate manner; I will strive to enhance my ability to be imperturbable.
8. I will effectively communicate my insights to others by making things readily explainable and thereby understood. Some moment, I will not give direct translations of my thoughts if it will simplify the lives of others to say them differently.
9. Some moment, I will seek and foster relationships with like-minded people to benefit posterity.
10. I will be aware and caring of how I come across to others; some moment, I will be courteous…

I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty like they break bread?

A Sneak Peek: Work in Progress

He clammed up like his hinge had a hair trigger, a local luminary flippantly killed in the flower of his youth.

"VALIDATING CREDIBILITY FOR THE SAKE OF SINCERITY," he sung shrilly.

Gray's Anatomical: Osteological Skeleton.......

The long bones are a part of the limbs, where they form a system of levers, which have to sustain the weight of the trunk and to confer locomotive power. The short bones: where part of the skeleton is intended to have strength and compactness, and its motion is slight and limited being connected by a number of slight bones connected to ligaments; wherein the separate bones are short, compressed, and spongy throughout. The flat bones lay where the principal requirement is either extensive protectiveness or the provision of broad surface for musculature attachment such as the occipital, parietal, os innominatum, sternum, and patella. The irregular bones are of a peculiar shape that are unable to be placed in either of the three preceding categories and include the processoral vertebrae in all of its antero-posterior completion, the sacrum, coccyx, temporal, sphenoid, hyoid, etc...

Articular eminences lay in structures similar to the head's humerus, and the femur while non-articular depressions are modeled in articulations wherein similarities are noted in resemblance to the glenoid cavity of the scapula.

The spine is a flexuous and flexible column formed by a series of bones called the vertebrae. Each vertebra consists of two essential parts--anterior solid segment or body, posterior segment or arch. The arch is is formed of two pedicles and two laminae, supporting seven processes--viz. four articular, two transverse, and one spinous.

It Tastes Kinda Like Sad

your feathers veer into the eyes I saw decline from within;
swiftly sweeping impressions into my vision.
they cloud where I once saw your imperfections.
I yearn for the errors I drew with penetrating sight
before I tripped on my own discreet frailty, blind.

DEAR GOD, COVER YOUR EYES, THINK OF THE CHILDREN

The fundamental principle of feminism revolves around the concept that just because a body was designed to perform a certain procreative function, biological elements need not dictate intellectual and social functions, capabilities and rights. Feminists--and all persons interested in civil equality and intellectuality--fight the impression that people are generally controlled by and limited to their biological lot. It is the viewpoint we are all entitled to the same civil rights and liberties and can be literal intellectual equals regardless of gender.

We frequently find fashion and feminism clashing ideologically. We glance greenly at one another from centers seemingly unrelated but constantly intertwining. The fashion industry is generally considered a "bit" shallow and known commonly as morally garish given the sexual and physical exploitation of females.

Suddenly--semi-enlightened to the inner apparatus of feminism--I found these ideals clashing with my former interests. I was suddenly left stewing purplish with rage and discarded even the "unconventionally" fashioned clothes I cared to wear. 

The the bedrock of fashion rests in manipulating veritable slews of "regular" girls in "need" of catwalk-ready bodies to compete with their unconventionally thin counterparts; doppelgangers busily altering a jillion girls' concepts of regularity. The manner of operating "fashionably" seemed wrong suddenly--a perfunctory vanity. 

However, It seems similarly anti-female, patriarchal society aside, to suggest that in order to be a true feminist we need to entirely abandon vanity and its' varietals. Here, one suspects, lies the base of the anti-fashion prejudice we veer towards when we allow nary a saged soul to instill we as females can actually enjoy and find pleasure in the superficial guiltlessly. We have this in-built concept of the fashion industry as exploitative of females; an irredeemable commercial enterprise that questions our worth unless we are conforming to an all-that-is-man standard of what is engaging and appealing. 

Women spending their own money and doing something just for themselves? DEAR GOD, COVER YOUR EYES, THINK OF THE CHILDREEEEN.  A man surprised is half beaten, but a woman surprised is delighted thusly? 

BLOODY HELL. FEETCH MEEE MY PEEEARLS, I FEEL EMPOWERED. These comically patterned bustiers. They distract me from my mortality. 

There is more to fashion than cocaine-riddled, fur-clad, sunglasses-sheathed obsessive freaks and starving Latvian teenagers who speak minimal English, if you will. Fashion is actually more than a culturally suspect pursuit of impossible standards and the bastard child of capitalism. It is a Yves Saint Laurent camel coat with a nutria-fur sombrero in 1962 on an unexampled woman : Sheer artistry.

Fashion and Feminism are not mutually exclusive.

***Written for Scarlette Magazine. Ohio State University's first and only fashion magazine, created and run entirely by students.***

Sometimes I affect strange postures to intimidate.

This is decidedly terrible. What am I supposed to do with three flaming hot cheetohs!!!? Dry my teears?

Looking for off brand mexican cheetohs in a Euro-Mediterranean neighborhood.

Mountain dew is the best drink known to man :3 Lucifer himself could not piss a liquid more devilishly tempting.

Folkloric fallacies are a dime a dozen these days, so an insightful graphic novel stands alone.The daniel clowes compendium is a private menagerie of snipes that expose discomfiting truths...

Step One: Copy and Paste

These are the unfinished rough cut versions of three of my original songs on my newly formed soundcloud. Look forward to more music in the upcoming future. Yes: come hell or high water; two months from now or six.

Melancholicsonicandsartorialarchitecturecollide. It feels like it's about time and I'm happy to be pulling out these sound files that have been lurking in the depths of my janky netbook for toooo long unheard. 

Good music; plenty of it is developed outside of the margin of culture. Here is my god-given right to combat the dictators and exercise my right to be a stranger from an arcane land that never quite grew up.. For youuu:

301: Moved Permanently
https://soundcloud.com/neuronaxxle/brenna-3-3-2-12-rough-cut
301: Moved Permanently 

The "dictaphone" is a trademark of the company with the same name, but has also become a common term for all dictation machines, as a genericized trademark...

"I would settle for being a paragon. That is simply militarily, economically, and technologically dominant on a world stage."  Because do what thou wilt..

A tragic love story in a wonderful setting? A wonderful love story in a tragic setting? There is an unexpectedly haunted, gaunt, and absurdly surreal quality hidden within a film's cuttingly fitting recesses. Delight.

And do you want to run with my pack? Do you want to ride on my back?

Often, recently I have just want to settle into the internet for a long leisurely walk on the landscape of the subnet. Into which I can disappear when  I suddenly feel a fleeting and tragic fragility.

Relishing in dramatic texts. I drunkenly squeak and titter with fervor. Suddenly, I tumble back down to where I once felt.

I abandon science far behind for this moment. To escape from my chemical reactions, I can find whole solace only in the unfeeling black and white of mathematics and parts that always fit.

I am fairly certain that all light and hope go to die there.

Agricultural Comm/Independent Civilizations 2367 Blog Post

In a world quite literally run by social media, the likelihood of getting from point A to point B without someone in your nearby vicinity or yourself contemplating their next Facebook post is highly unlikely.

If not entirely improbable? 

With a fast growing technological industry in a fast paced world, the ramifications of not partaking in what is a staggeringly rapid speed of online revolution and growth can be detrimental to any industry endeavor. Not being “wired” immediately disservices you, your industry, your products public persona, and or your business in today's fast paced and increasingly technological world. Those who are connected will be submerged in “the know” with a simple click--or two--of a mouse button. Today all it takes is that simple click of a mouse on a graphical user interface to access hundreds or thousands of viewers and informants.

Previously, my experience with social media outlets has been three-fold; four if you count a slight and remarkably brief tryst with a site as an actual affair. I utilized both BlogSpot and Facebook regularly, forgoing the celebrity and multimedia conglomerate-smothered and hashtagged twitter in exchange for the networking sleight of Google plus up until recently. For the most part, my blog posts have fallen by the wayside; save for the occasional rant on hedonistic societies for what is primarily one of my less productive activities I partake in for what is mostly my own entertainment. My use of Google plus to tap into the writing community has quite naturally declined alongside. Luckily, for my own benefit’s sake, I have gradually outgrown my distaste towards Facebook, "Exploit Your Personal Data Incorporated", embracing all of what can be be called nothing less than fantastic perks of being socially connected in today's world.

Speaking of matters of taste; the figuratively pungent “firstworldproblems”—alongside other hashtags—were not ones I found palatable before engaging in an industry specific foray of the twitter website. Yet, there is evidently value in organizations using twitter that I had not previously noted, or to be characteristically introspective, legitimately cared enough to put time and effort into discovering with my highly prized internet time. 

From the links on presidential candidate’s standpoints on key current agricultural issues via Market to Market, to Bruce MacPheron’s frequent updates on agriculturally based student and faculty engagements, my interest was piqued when I realized the “tweet” held more significance than the utter simple inanity “too many donuts #socialsuicide#” or like: “LET’S TAILGATE NATTY HARD #freneticfireandbrimstone #buckeyebrobeast”. And while my slightly skeptical nature may be honed to a sometimes uncomfortably sharp critical degree, I thought the line of demarcation between what was legitimately valuable information was clear; and most posts stood on the more articulate and beneficial side of the partition. Between the effective and incisive posts linking to equally admirable articles from the Department of Agriculture to Bruce MacPheron’s university conscientious updates, the purely effectual use of twitter was enlightening. What may have been a previously critical outlook on what appeared to be the more trite of social sites has suddenly been drastically changed and dramatically accepted with a squeal of delight and personal welcome.

My experience with blogs has left me split. The unadulterated detail and dense technological and technical industry specific information I stumbled upon while covering blogs, uncovered a wealth of information a mere Facebook page or twitter update alone couldn’t adequately convey to a recipient. Although the blog centering around confessions of a farmer’s wife recounting the terrifying swish of her husband’s Members Only-like warm-up pants; conjuring a vivid peek at what Miami Vice looked like many a decade ago in the now, often became more trivial then humorous with personal puritan conundrums like working on the Sabbath day. Which the truly shocking nature of is one I cannoooooot articulate or properly show...

Have at it, you.

Facebook was overall, as adequately effective as the twitter accounts I perused for a couple of days. My only complaint was the FFA, similar to twitter’s AgChat, tends to post links that are entirely irrelevant to agriculture as a whole. Specifically, I am referring to hallmark-like posts of inspirational quotes or pictures that seem utterly unrelated to agriculture. Although I know they may be considered a community group, there was just as much likelihood for an FFA post to be irrelevant to agriculture as to properly manipulate the effective tool of the internet meme to make important deadline announcements.

The agricultural industry is looking at inanities--with wonton disregard of value being provided or outcomes being measured—as ineffective means of communication from the more articulate side of the demarcation’s partition. It has clearly siphoned the vitality from the next generation’s fountain of youth--the now omnipresent social media--taking with it a means to keep agricultural awareness alive and astir.